welcome2myworld

Judging by the symptoms on Web Md I am pretty sure I have Strep. I figured I was around my sick nephew on New Year’s Day so surely if I had it I would have gotten sick earlier but apparently symptoms can take between 2 and 5 days to show up, lucky me. I got it right on day three. At least my Aunt is a nurse I’m going to call her and see if she get a Strep test from work and check me out. If I have it she’ll get me meds for it too. Apparently without treatment the infection will go away within 3 to 7 days, however if you don’t go on antibiotics you can be contagious for up to 3 weeks even after your symptoms go away. I don’t want to infect people around me, especially since I babysit a lot so I’d rather go on meds for it, at least that way after 24 hours I am no longer contagious.

I am so mad because I think I am getting sick, as you might have figured out from the title of my post, lol. What makes me really mad is that all day I was feeling fine and then after dinner my throat started hurting a lot. I just took a bath and actually felt a little better so at least that helped a bit. Another thing that pissed me off was the fact that after I got out of the tub my shoulders started hurting. Usually I take a bath to ease tension in my muscles but apparently this time that didn’t work, the only thing I can think of was laying down in the tub hurt my shoulders. I am just falling apart. Well now it’s time to go take some vitamins to try and make this illness, whatever it may be, fade away fast. Oh, another great thing about being sick is that fact that I have no insurance. Anyway, TTFN.

No this blog isn’t about the song from Fiddler on the Roof, lol. My family has a tradition of going to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade every year, barring rain that is, but it looks like this year we are not going to. It’s really sad because some of my fondest memories of thanksgiving are from the parade. When I was little my mom, big sister, little brother, aunts, uncles, four cousins, and varying family friends would go to the parade every year. In the last few years it has only been my mom, brother, aunt and two cousins because my other cousins didn’t want to go anymore and my sister didn’t feel like taking all her kids out. However, this year my cousins don’t want to go so they and my aunt aren’t coming so my mom doesn’t want to go. I don’t see why we can’t go, just the three of us, but I have decided I will probably end up going on my own of my mother doesn’t want to go. I love this tradition and want to keep it going; I even plan on taking my kids. Anyway TTFN!

I wonder how it is that someone can feel so sorry for someone and yet so angry at them in the same moment. As I mentioned last night was the memorial for my bff’s Aunt and obviously her son, my ex was there. He was busy with his new gf and we didn’t get a chance to talk. My bff was talking to him and I walked over to tell him I was sorry. Said bff asked her cousin how his kids were doing and he responded “I wouldn’t know it’s easier not to talk to them.”

I understand that his psycho ex wife makes it very, very hard for him but if he would grow a pair and stand up to her it would make a difference. It is bad enough that they are all the way in FL and he can’t see them because he can’t afford to visit them but legally she is supposed to let him talk to them. So I was so angry with him that when the minister started talking about his mom I broke down crying.

In that moment I felt several feelings all at once. I felt so sad for him and the rest of the family that their mother, wife, sister, aunt, and cousin had died. I felt so angry with him that he was turning into an asshole that didn’t care about his kids just like my father. I felt mad at myself for caring and letting it get to me. I wondered why I cared, why did I let it bother me? I felt like maybe I still had feelings for him. I was angry because I loved him I really did! It was hard for me to let myself fall in love, and what did it get me? He ruined it; he destroyed what we had with his lies. I could have been there for him. I could have been with him while his mother was dying, held him while he cried, listen to him.

Imagining what could have been ate me up inside. However, my bff made me realize that I was better off, watching him give up his kids would have destroyed me. Realizing that I was with someone just like my father who I disgust would have made me so angry with myself. In the end my bff helped me through it like she always does. I know I lean on her more then I probably should but she is more than just my friend, she is like a sister. In fact I am a hell of a lot closer to her then I am my sister. So anyway, I know this post is a lot longer then I usually write but I just needed to vent.

My bff’s aunt died of brain cancer and tonight is the memorial service. She was cremated because she didn’t want people to see her the way she looked when she was dying. My bff’s cousin, who happens to be my ex boyfriend but that is a story for another day, said he didn’t blame her because as her son it was hard for him to see her that way. Anyway it is going to be a very sad night and I’m glad that we went to see David Cook last night. I know tonight is going to be hard and I’m so happy my friend got to have a personal moment with David and let him know how his music has helped her cope. Anyway TTFN.

Well it’s been a little over four months since I graduated college and still no job. I’ll admit at first I wasn’t actively looking for work. Sure I kept my eyes out for the potential job opportunities but from mid May (when I graduated) till the end of August I was not looking.

However, by September I began sending out my resume to no avail. What bothers me the most is the fact that I never hear anything. I send resume upon resume and I don’t get any responses. People could at least say, “I’m sorry the position has been filled.” or “I’m sorry you are not what we are looking for.” I am really getting depressed. Oh well hopefully I’ll find something soon. TTFN!

I have to say obviously I’m pretty bummed out today because she isn’t here to celebrate. If I am not mistaken she would have been 78 years old today. My grandmother was one of the greatest people I have ever met. I’m not just saying that because she was my grandma she was an amazing woman.

My grandmother was named Willamina after the Queen of Holland but everyone called her Billie. She was very funny not a day passed where she didn’t have me laughing about something. Usually stories about when her eight kids, yup she had eight, where little. She even made jokes about having her breast removed. When I say the movie Silence of the Lambs I told her she should date Anthony Hopkins and she said, “No way he’d bite off my other boob!”

Not a day passes where I don’t think about her. Right after she died it was usually sad thought about how much I miss her. Luckily now I’m not sad about it every day, now when I think about her I remember the good times we had together. The last few days I’ve been thinking about how much I miss her because her birthday was coming up.

However, I’ve decided I’d let myself be sad today but starting tomorrow I’ll have a new attitude. Tomorrow I’ll try to face the day with a smile and try not to stress about things too much. Oh one more reason today is such a sad day four years ago today my dog had to be put down so over all it’s a shitty day. Tomorrow will be better though I’ve promised myself.

Today is the last game ever to be played at Yankee Stadium, probably. At this point it is very unlikely that the Yankees will make the playoffs this year and next season the Yankees will open a new stadium across the street. The new Yankee Stadium, they say will be more like the original stadium. Well I wasn’t around more than 85 years ago so I don’t know if that’s true but it’s still exciting to think that the new stadium will be more like an old fashioned stadium. Whether or not the Yankees win tonight’s game it’s sure to be a bittersweet day for everyone at the stadium tonight, especially for the players, coaches, announcers, grounds crew, etc. It is exciting to imagine what next season at the new stadium will hold, but it’s also sad because tonight’s game is most likely to be the last game ever to be played in the House that Ruth built. How knows maybe the new stadium will be the House that Jeter built, one can only hope. All I can add is GO YANKEES! Let’s hope they end the season on a bang and win one tonight.  

            Today I have a few thoughts floating around in my brain. So here they are:

1. I’m bummed that no one has comment on my blog yet. Although only a few people know about it so I can’t say I’m surprised.
2. I’m bummed because the American Idol tour has ended. This has me bummed for a few reasons; I couldn’t go to the final show last night, which according to all the pics and vids I’ve seen was awesome. I’m also bummed about this because it’s officially the end of the best season of Idol ever! No more Mavid, no more Archie making Cook crack up. It sucks!
3. On one happy note I’m excited about True Blood tonight. That show is one of my new obsessions and I can’t wait to see what happens tonight.

That’s all for today, hope you have a nice day.